Friday, September 4, 2009

The Finger: Rage Against the Chicken

I'm adding a new segment to this blog called "The Finger", wherein I give a written "finger" to things I don't like. This was inspired by my brother who once told me that when I don't like something on TV, I should just give the TV the finger. And you know what? He was so right. It really does help.

So.

You've seen the billboards: There's a 3-D cow, who's written a message to passersby to "Eat mor chikin". And it's really funny, because like, it's a cow, so he can't write very well, and he's trying to convince you to eat chicken instead of beef, right? Oh, anthropomorphized animal advertising for a corporation that capitalizes on the exploitation of animals, you crack me up! Your desperate-yet-futile will to live writ large is a knee-slapper.

As a Vegan Overlord, here's what I glean from this ad campaign:
1. Chick-fil-A is fully aware of the cruel deaths animals experience in factory farms.
2. They think it's hilarious.
3. They think it's so hilarious that everyone else will think it's hilarious, too. So hilarious, in fact, that they've spent a gazillion dollars on this ad campaign. They have even instituted an Annual Cow Appreciation Day on which customers get a free meal if they come in to one of their stores dressed as a cow.

Huh. Check out this information from an Humane Society report on the "Welfare of Animals in the Meat, Egg, and Dairy Industries":

"Each year in the United States, 10 billion land animals are raised and killed for meat, eggs, and milk. Statistically, farm animals comprise 98 percent of all animals in the country with whom we interact directly... Of the 10 billion land animals killed annually in the United States, 95 percent are birds, and the overwhelming majority are "broiler" chickens raised for meat, 1 million killed each hour... The poultry industry has used selective breeding and growth-promoting antibiotics to produce birds whose bodies "are on the verge of structural collapse." To put their growth rate into perspective, the University of Arkansas Division of Agriculture reports, "If you grew as fast as a chicken, you'd weigh 349 pounds at age 2."... Hens are given less space than the area of a letter-sized sheet of paper in which to eat, sleep, lay eggs, and defecate... As slaughter lines run at rapid speeds (up to 8,400 chickens per hour), mistakes are common and some birds are still conscious as they enter tanks of scalding water intended to loosen their feathers."

Yeah, boy! That's a hoot and a half! And this report doesn't even talk about things like debeaking, or how the growth hormones pumped into these chickens effect the humans who eat them.

And so, I give Chick-fil-A The Finger, not only for contributing to cruelty to animals on a massive scale, but for making light of it in the name of profits.

Later, minions. Back soon with a much happier entry about cupcakes. For now, I've gotta go sick up.

1 comment:

  1. It is so refreshing to hear that sentiment expressed, finally!
    I have driven past those god-forsaken billboards freakin' forever and I always think, yeah, if these poor cows could only tell us, they would be saying, please don't kill me, please don't eat me. I doubt they would even be so unkind as to say eat the chicken instead, but no doubt they would be begging to live in whatever way possible, even writing it on a billboard. Yeah, ain't it hilarious?

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